Let it out!!!

Most of the time, I don't post really deep, heavy posts. My last post (Ten Percent) was one of those, though. It had just been building up inside, and I needed to get it out.

I try not to hold things in. I know how destructive it can be to a person to hold things in. It can be destructive mentally and physically to a person...it just eats at a person from inside out. It ends up not only affecting the person, but also affects family and friends, because the person starts to withdraw, and lashes out at others for no apparent reason.

I was a really negative person for a long time because I held things in and didn't let them out. I thought for a long time that I was the only one going through the things I was going through, and no one else understood the things I was experiencing. I had someone though that did not give up on me. This person loved me through my difficulties and depression, and kept encouraging me, even when I didn't feel like I needed or wanted it.

About 3 or 4 years of this person supporting and loving me during my darkest time, I finally realized that I was slowly killing myself. I realized that others did care, and that others did know what I had been through. But, others couldn't help if I didn't let them know. I owe a lot to that friend. He and his family were there for me when I needed them the most. I am not sure they will ever know just how important they were to me.

Ten Percent

I am proud to be left-handed. I am proud to be a part of society that by its very nature is artistic and creative. I am very happy to be a part of the 10% of this world's population that is left-handed. I am grateful that my parents did not force me to learn to write with my right hand, as what happened to my grandfather. Forcing a child to write with the hand that they are not supposed to write with hinders their creativity. It hinders their whole thinking process, and the child loses a part of their identity. Part of who I am today is wrapped up in being creative, artistic, and open-minded. None of the righties in the family are like that. I am one of a kind!

But, there are a few things that really bother me. Not about being left handed, mind you. What bothers me is how society has viewed left-handed people in the past, and how it still views left-handed people today. For example:

1. In the past, people were forced to write with their right hand, and were punished if they didn't. They were told that left-handed people were the devil's children. Right is Right, and Left is Wrong! I don't understand this. How does being left handed signify being of the devil? Really, if anything that is left is of the devil, then we are all going to hell. The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body. And since the brain tells the body what to do, I'd venture to say right-handed people are the devil's children instead. Right is Right...right?

2. Everything in this world being geared towards right handed people. Research has shown that left-handed people live an average of 5 years less than right handed people. Why? Because of the stresses of living in a right handed world. Some examples of right handed items that we all encounter on a daily basis:

Doors - open from the right
Faucets - hot on the left (= devil), cold on the right
Cars - gear shift is on the right, gas is on the right, radio is on the right, everyone else who might ride with you will be off to your right.
Spiral Notebooks - spiral is on the left side, making it difficult to write with your left hand
clocks - clockwise motion is to the right
cooking utensils - all manufactured to be used with the right hand (try using a ladle with your left hand)
scissors - the left handed ones are blunt, for the slow-minded kids who might hurt themselves using them
computers - the mouse and keyboard are both right handed, all on/off switches are on right of monitors, towers, printers, etc
cameras - made to be held up to your right eye, right finger pushes the button to take picture
phones - made to be held in left hand, as one dials with the right hand
musical instruments - the only truly left handed instrument is the French Horn. All others are held by left hand, or use a combo of both hands.
books - read left to right
can openers - hold with left hand, turn with right
tape measures / rulers - if used left handed, all the numbers on the measure are upside down
meals - pass everything to the right!!

3. The way people look at you when they realize that you are left handed. I have had so many people looked stunned and disturbed when they see me write with my left hand. I've had people tell me before that they cannot watch me write, because it bothers them to see me writing backwards. It's like watching some break their arm or leg...it's just plain disturbing.

My mom taught oil painting, stained glass, ceramics, cake decorating, and other arts / crafts things when I was very small. I'd love to learn how to do some the things she has taught, and have asked once or twice for her to teach me how to do them. But, I have pretty much given up on asking her to show me how to do them. Why? Because everything I do is left handed. She only knows how to teach right handed, and she gets frustrated (and has told me so) trying to teach the crafts backwards to me. It's not just my mom that is like this. I've encountered teachers and instructors elsewhere who get frustrated in trying to teach me to do things backward. It's very discouraging to want to learn to do something but be made to feel like you can't do it because you aren't like everyone else. I shouldn't have to sit off on the sidelines simply because I do things backwards from everyone else.

My Business

Why is it that people think they can get in the middle of your business and feel that it is ok for them to tell you how to feel or think or behave?

I told my best friend that I was not going to dinner with the normal group one night. I had my reasons for not going. Very good reasons for not going. But my friend got all upset, and started trying to give excuses as to why I could not back out of going to dinner with the group (you are the President of this band - you have to go to dinner with the group! What if someone has questions for you, and you aren't there!). This was the first time I have ever missed dinner with the group, and my friend just went off for no reason...

I mentioned to a family member that I thought about spending the day down in Galveston tomorrow. Once again, someone went off - they don't feel I should be going places by myself, and that I'll get hurt wherever I go.

Then the whole dating questions start..."Are you dating anyone?" "Why not?" "When are you going to start?" I'll start dating when I'm ready!! I don't need to justify anything to anyone. I am happy with myself, and I just don't understand why people feel it is ok to butt into other people's business like that.