Divorcing Family

When we met with Harold and Janet, they informed us that they had gotten rid of the cat that Dad and Sharon had.  That cat was one of the last things Dad bought for her.  We were later able to recover the cat from the kennel.

They did not want to pay anything for the funeral, even though the note blamed them for everything. Michael and I ended up getting into a screaming match with them, and it took Jeff and Renee to keep Michael off of Harold.  He pushed Leslie to the spot that Dad committed suicide, and made her stand there.

Harold told me that I was a dishonor to the family.  Leslie tried to tell me to leave the house, even though it was not her house.  I put it right back on her, and told her it was not her house and she could not kick me out of it.  I also told her if she had nothing positive to say to me, to just not say anything positive at all.

It took Mom going over to smooth things out a bit, and even at that, they said that Michael and I were not welcome at the memorial service they were holding at the house.

Michael is seeing a therapist for his anger issues.  He cannot hold these feelings in without doing damage to himself, Renee, and their marriage.  I am struggling myself, but not as bad as what Michael is going through.  I realize I am allowed to be angry while grieving, but at some point I need to let go of the anger.  I know they will have to answer for being responsible for Dad's death.  Maybe not in this lifetime, but they will have to answer.   That is the only consolation I have.  I know I will be able to let this go when I am done grieving, and know that God will take care of them when it is their turn to stand in front of Him.  I would love to be there to see that, but more than likely will not.

But, I am no longer related to any of them.  They are no more family to me.  They have killed my father, and for that they will answer.

Life and Death Part 2

Yesterday morning, while I was doing some research to help Michael and Renee get the ball rolling for Sharon, I got a phone call from Jeff's sister, Mendy.  Jeff's Dad passed away yesterday morning.  We now are dealing with two deaths in the family within a week of each other.

Life and Death

On Thursday, November 15th, 2012, I got a phone call from my brother.  He had something to tell me, but would not tell me until I was inside the house and sitting next to Jeff.

Sharon had gone out of town earlier in the week.  She had spoken to Dad on the phone Wednesday evening (November 14th), around 8 pm, but told him she would call back when she could hear better.  When she called around 10 pm, there was no answer, and no answers the few times she called the next day.  At that point, she called Michael to ask him to go by and check on Dad since he was not answering the phone.

Michael had to crawl in to the house through an open window in the back. All the lights were out, but the TV was on.  Michael knew immediately that something was wrong.  He found Dad in the front entry way (it was actually hidden from the back of the house - where Dad would know that whoever came home would come in from).  Dad had shot himself in the chest.  Michael would swear that Dad had shot himself in the head...it wasn't until he read later on that it was a chest wound.

Dad did leave a note.  At the time of this writing, Michael is the only one who has read the note.  The police kept the note for a few weeks, but has finally released it to Michael.  From what I understand, the note was pretty much blaming Harold for Dad's death.

After I got off work on Sunday, November 18th, Jeff and I headed to Austin to get Sharon's car, and drive it to Ft. Worth so she could have her car.  We stayed up there until Wednesday, November 21st, when we came back to Houston.  Jeff and I bought groceries for Michael, Renee, and Sharon (Sharon is staying with Michael and Renee until she can find her own place), and cooked meals for them while we were there.  We plan to still have Thanksgiving at Mom's house tomorrow, with Sharon there as well.

We are married!

At the Harris County Courthouse, Clay Road Annex

September 17th 2012

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At the Wedding Reception

September 22nd, 2012

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Honeymoon to Walt Disney World

September 23rd - 27th, 2012

things happen in multiples

Just a few weeks ago, one of my cousins (Bobby) passed away from cancer...just found out that my great aunt had a stroke last week, and is likely not going to come out of that itself, but to top it off she has also been diagnosed with late stage lung cancer.  They have unplugged her from the iv's.  Now we just wait.  It has been a rough few weeks.

Convention work

On February 12th, a group of friends and I went to San Antonio for the TMEA convention.  It was a much needed break and we were able to purchase several large percussion instruments for the Band.  Success!

New Start to the Same Thing

Tonight is the Band's Annual Meeting.  Tonight I will be giving my speech on how the band did this past year, and what we have to look forward to.  This is the eighth time I have given this speech, every year since January of 2005.  I feel that I have grown in my time on the podium, and although I am nervous about tonight, I don't feel that I am as nervous as I have been in the past.  This is a great thing!

I do feel excited about tonight too.  We are voting in board members who are up for re-election, which is normal.  But we are also voting in 2 new board members tonight, one of which I have wanted as a board member for a couple of years now (the piccolo player).  She agreed to do it, finally, and I suggested she take the remainder of a 2 year term, just to see if it is really something she wants to do, and can commit to.  The other position is going to the String Bass player, who has been coming to the after-band-executive-committee meeting every Sunday for several months now.  He's already seen how things kind of work, and how we each take things on, etc.  He's been already committing himself to some things that the board is doing, and offering his services where needed.

This has the potential to be one of the best boards we have had ever.  Everyone has their own opinion, and voices it during meetings.  But, on the other hand, almost everyone chips in and has taken on a project they can call their own.  There is only one member who has not really taken anything on as his own, and that is bothersome.  This one member just shows up to meetings and rehearsals.  Instead of taking tickets to sell, he just writes a check for $50 and calls it a donation.  He always says he is on the stage committee, but then shows up to rehearsals and concerts well after the stage has been set.  He has not been to a retreat yet, because he goes out of town that particular weekend every year.  He once wanted to step down from the board, when his wife passed away, but we did not let him, because at that time, he needed to remain active so he would not sink into even more of a depression than he was in.

But even still, I feel optimistic about this year.  I am not up for re-election tonight as a board member, but will be up for re-election at Wednesday's board meeting, for the President position.  Even though I have complained in the past about all the things I have had to do as President, I am glad to see so many of the board taking on responsibilities that I used to take on.  The ones I have left are the ones I really enjoy tackling.  Program design, program notes, and press releases. 

The Beginning of the End?

Here it is, the first day of 2012.  Many people say that the world is going to end this year, on 12/21/12.  Will it?  Who knows.  What I do know is that as I sit here on the dawn of a new year, I once again ponder my priorities.  Not that I am too overwhelmed with things to do this time around.  But, instead, knowing that this past year was one of ups and downs.  goods and bads.  And I am trying to decide if it was a year of mostly ups and goods or downs and bads.  If it was a year of mostly good things, than I will keep the status quo and continue on as planned.  If it was a year of mostly bads then I need to look to see what the problem areas are and change them.  Most of the question areas have to do with work.  

Things with Jeff are definitely good, and have never been better.  We are planning for a wedding and a honeymoon this year, as well as working on home improvements.  We have a plan, and hopefully we can stick to it.  I am looking forward to that this year!